OK to marry at 21?

I think it's very scary that people my age are getting engaged and planning their marriage.

Oh my gosh, can you believe it? My mentality is just not up for it. It cannot comprehen the state of engagement, much less marriage, especially when I still a spinster. Hello. Any takers?

Imagine mere college students, planning for their marriage...when all I am thinking of right now is how to escape from parent's reach, get a lousy job, stay here as long as possible and ... maybe get a serious boyfriend a few years down the road. I mean...hahahaha...*cant stop laughing*.

By then, my friends will be having kids of their own just when I am starting to date. This is getting really weird. I am not used to it.

Lucky them, getting hitched in high school and now married by next year! Family. Kids.

At the rate my brain development is progressing... I think it will be a long while before I even consider kids! I dont care what you say, but I'm young. Young. I am barely out of the 'kids' world, no wait, I'm still 'IN' it. I'm a kid. I'm underaged. I dont care what you say, but i'm still a "kid".

Some things never change.

The Week After Spring Break

How did this happen? When did it go wrong?

Today is Monday. I am a very depressed, mad, angry lady.

I am depressed because two papers are unfinished. Interviews are not being conducted and i am in deep shit. And I have a test tomorrow that I havent studied for.

I am mad because I cant go the a basketball game. Because I didnt have the courage to ask a ride from a guy. This is so stupid.

I am angry because my friend is back in norman...and friend is disrupting my schedule, and my life. And is making feel very inwardly guilty because I am not spending time with friend...and I dont know how to do to say...STOP. I cant be anymore but just a plain, simple friend.

I am a very depressed, mad, angry lady.

I wish my semester is OVER!!!

I just want it to be summer...oh summer...

I still have TWO whole months before I am finally FREE!!!

Oh I hate my life...hate it...hate it...

And I'm trying to smile...smile...smile...

The crack in the door.

So... My friend, BK, came to visit me and stayed at my place for 2 nights. Since I dont have a car, I had to call up a few friends to see if they would take us out for food. Hahaha.

BK and I normally hang out in my room, on my SINGLE bed lying/sitting close to each other (no choice), watching stupid funny crazy youtube videos or just chatting about mindless stuff. We went to sleep quite late in the night, about 6pm the first night and 4pm the second night. Anyway, the next morning on the second day, I was still dead asleep when he came in, jumped right into bed next to me and woke me up.

We kissed, hugged, ....








Hahahaha...gotcha!!! Nothing happened...


But problem was, my door was not fully close and there was a crack in the door where the person outside could peep in. The person being MY COUSIN!!!!

I wasnt wearing my glasses since i just woke up, but i guess my cousin was very suspicious when she peeped through the crack. So she quickly knocked on the door, opened it wide and say, "What are you guys doing?"

I was sitting up with my blanket covering me and BK was lying down facing me. I still had my dazed look on. "Nothing," I replied.

"Just fooling around," BK said.

My cousin stood at the door for a few seconds, soaking in the whole indecency of the situation and finally, she said, "Oh, okay." And left.

BK asked, "Did I get you into trouble?"

I said, "Dont worry about it."

Dont worry about it being he didnt need to worry but I did if my cousin went back to malaysia and started telling tales... man, my family is so conservative that they would probably freak out and my reputation was ruined!!! Seriously, they would all think im a big slut, just because he was 'in bed' with me. I think Americans are pretty huggy-touchy type and they all are very chummy with each other. Such as, good friends always hugged one another when they are greeting, or happy or sad.

So then BK said. "Well, there shouldnt be any trouble coz I wasnt sleeping here last night. I was in the living room. I swear she saw me this morning."

I told him, "But the problem is, I looked asleep to her."

He replied, "Well, we were here together till late last night and there wasnt any problems, so why should there be a problem when its morning now?

I didnt know how to reply him coz i was either too tired/I was too sleepy.

Either way, I had to explain to my cousin what just happened. She didnt quite believe me. Then she said that she didnt see him sunday morning (the first day) at 10am in the living room, but she said she saw his shoes.

So i said, maybe he is in the bathroom. Cousin shook her head. So i said, then i dont know where he was. Cousin look suspiously at me and said, dont lie. She is implying that he was 'in bed' with me that morning, which was totally not true!

So I asked him where he was...he said, "The union." He was in school. He said his shoes were on him, and yea, i believed him coz I woke up and he was gone. I told my cousin but who knows she's thinking now. That was the first time she saw me 'in bed' with a guy. Plus he is a total stranger to her.

Well, im sorry to say that there is no place for two people to sit in my room together unless its on my bed, so tata - next time I need a couch.

And btw, there was no hanky-panky going on. Just to clear the air.

The Lost Boys

Eh, hello...

As of right now, I have TWO guys sleeping in my living room. Oh, I never told you that?

First guy decided to quit college, work for a little while and return back home. Problem was no college = no housing. Therefore, I decided to help him and my cousin and I out by asking him to bum into my apartment till he returns home for good. He has been staying here since august 2006, and well, he helps out by paying us 1/4 of the rent since he is staying in the living room. Hehehehe. Living room convert to room... no privacy of course. Benefit, rent is divided between almost 3 person.

Well, next up. American guy (BK) from Japanese exchange program decided to come visit and he doesnt want to call his parents to pick him up coz he wanna hang out with his friends (aka including me) in Norman. He was supposed to stay at his friend's house but ... er, I guess once his friend (JP) dumped him at my apt, JP was so tired that he didnt come back to pick BK up from my apt. So...tata...the living room again.

Personally I think BK should stay with his parents, duh, because his parents have been waiting for him to get back. JP has been running around like BK's host, fetching him here and there and later, dropping him off at my apt and having to go out of the way to come back to pick him up...well JP was too tired after 2 trips to and fro from the airport...and BK was supposed to stay at JP family's place, which JP wasnt so sure his father would approve....hmm, so another friend, dumped at my apt unplanned.

In summer 2005, a cambodian-french guy lost his passport, decided to visit his uncle in dallas and leave America from Houston ... after getting a temporary passport from Houston. He had everything ready, bus ticket to dallas included and tata...he was off! Unfortunately, the bus was full...which happens sometimes...and that meant he had to take the next bus. Well, he stayed at my apt for two days...always leaving and after teary/big hugs and cries goodbye in the morning/evening only to knock on my apt door later and say, "The bus is full AGAIN!"
Ohmigosh! Comes back and the procedure is repeated, until one day, I come home and he is gone. Tata!

I think my living room is pretty much like a cheap FOC motel for guys staying overnight...

Next time, I will start charging them cheap rates....muahahaha. Nah.

I think im too good..."Oh, no place to stay? Stay at my apartment then!" which only happens to guys coz girls are usually the good ones...responsible and all :)

Im original and funny...?

While surfing the net, due to boredom, I stumbled upon...

Disorganized schizophrenia! (I think its totally related to my previous post!)


Definition: (Applicable)
Disorganized schizophrenia is a type of schizophrenia characterized by disinhibited, agitated, and purposeless behavior.

note: I used to be disinterested until i came to the U.S. Now, im experimental :) I am very unmotivated. My purpose in life is currently having a good night worth of sleep. I am also unmotivated in doing or finishing homework or studying for test. (on second thought, it just might be the fact that im too lazy and i cant wait till graduation)

Symptoms: ( Partly applicable)
Delusions (false, fixed beliefs) and hallucinations (sensory perceptions without a source) are common in disorganized schizophrenia. Emotional responses of people with this condition are often bizarre and inappropriate. Lack of emotion and motivation, as well as the inability to feel pleasure, may occur with this condition.
Some of these symptoms are also seen in other types of schizophrenia. The characteristic distinction is erratic behavior, with ungrammatical or random-ordered speech.
Patients with disorganized schizophrenia are usually active but in an aimless, nonconstructive manner. Inappropriate grinning and grimacing are common. Behavior is sometimes described as silly or fatuous.

Note: I do not suffer from delusions (unless you call dreaming of a good life without working one of them) or hallucinations. Erm, as for bizarre and inapporiate emotional responses, I am not too sure about that. The rest are pretty relevant for me, except for inappropriate grinning(occasional. I do think of the world as my amusement park. hahaha.) and grimacing.

Complications: (totally not applicable for me!)
Suicide and self-harm are possible serious complications, as is loss of ability to work and function socially. Drug abuse is a major risk, and is found at a higher rate in patients with schizophrenia.

Note: Totally not me. I am a good girl.


What do YOU think?

If i could dignose myself, I would say.... i fall between the range of 30-60 percent. Muahahaha. Disorganized speech, hell yes! Suddenly, I feel so sorry for my career. Journalist, you say?

Stupid things

I am thinking of monday, when I had to pass up my paper, and realizing that my paper sucks. Writing 17 pages in 2 days with a lousy plot in attempt to apply the skills learned in class is a big time pain in the ass, especially when i didnt follow teacher's instruction. What the heck was I thinking?

I am thinking of tuesday, when i didnt have proper time-management, and i had to ask my teacher to help me photoshop my image when the exam was ending, and he calmly did it, even when the next class started, and his stomach was growling, and the other teacher started lecturing, and i was still trying to finish up my exam, and i think my teacher was rather pissed.
And later in the evening, i had to accompany my friend to jump, walk, and smile cheese all over campus ground, and eat oh-gosh! fantastic chicken rice at a friend's house, and gasped watching a malaysian malay couple kiss in the elevator on youtube, and coming home late and suffering from sleep deprivation, which is a cont from sunday night.
Pls: It is illegal for malay couples in msia to kiss, touch, hold hands, or doing affectionate in public. Plus, since the youtube was a middle aged man in a suit with a younger woman, i doubt it is morally right, as in er, adultary/cheating on your significant other! If not why would they kiss in the elevator?

I am thinking of Wednesday and how stupid i sound while conducting an interview and how i didnt know how to structure a simple question, which happens very often in real life.
E.g. If im thinking, "what attributes in a person, which you consider to be a model, influences you the most?"

I would say, "er, what kinds of attribute in a person...that you find...er....attractive...i mean..attracted to."

*someone just kill me...argh* It sounds like im asking a really private question.

So today is thursday morning, and im sqeezing my eyes, thinking, 'pls stop thinking...stop thinking...above all stupid things i have done this week.'

Three Wise Men

The third post in a single day. A little too much, but I had to separate them because the topic was so different.

What do all the three men below have in common?

(Above) George Bush Sr. picture taken from a projection screen today that is broadcasted from Catlett Music Center to Reynolds.

(Above) Clearest picture of Al Gore taken with a Canon sd600! while seating miles away in Lloyld Noble Center.

(Above) A bigger picture of Al Gore with the band in the foreground and the crowd in the background. Also the record-breaker for the highest student attendence for attending the VIP guest speaker event.

(Above) Former Mexican President Vicente Fox in salute as a Mexico flag bearer walked past.

So what do these three men have in common?

Ans: They all came to OU!

Al Gore *I was in the Air Force for 15 years, and now, I have to be inspected when I board the plane.

George Bush, Sr. *How did I get made to be a hero? They sank my boat!

*Quotes are from memory, and are not completely accurate, but they get the point (of the joke)through.

Flu Bug

I have been dripping mucus from my nose non-stop. It began in the morning and no matter how many time I sniffed, the mucus kept collecting until it hung at the tip of my nostrails. Very irritating, you might say, especially in class.

So for the entire day, I spent countless trips to the restroom to steal long wads of scratchy toilet paper. I blew and blew and blew until my nose hurt around the sides.

The good part was, it only affected my left nostrils. The worst part was, not studying for tomorrow's test and instead, engrossing myself in a storybook! Despite my lack of focus, I never felt such peace (excluding the flu) in my life.

I'm coming home...

Time in a standstill

I was having a short break in between class and work.

I didnt know what to do. I walked aimlessly and as I turned my head left, I accidently brushed my face against a guy's sleeve. As such, I pretended to head on left towards a tiny garden with a few big trees and benches underneath.

I sat, took out a book and started reading. The morning sun bounced off my book and glared into my tired eyes. The air was cool but I felt sleepy. I placed my bag on one side of the bench and lay down under the skeleton brenches. It was weird, lying there while trails of students crossed the inner and outer garden paths as I continued my rest.

For a moment, I was transported to back to the days during my first and second semester and further back into high school. A feeling of familarity crept into my body and it relaxed. I had done this before - I had lay down on a bench outside while the world crease to exist. It was long ago when I had time. Time to stop. Time to relax. Time to enjoy. Time to appreciate. Time before the clouds pass by.

Lifeless

There is so much running through my head, but I have nothing to say. My thoughts are random, trailing behind one another and changing every second. Like ripples on the water, it spreads, merges, forms, and the cycle continues.

I am sick of school. I want to drop out and say, 'heck with everything'.

I am not concentrating, unmotivated and uninspired by life.

I live each day like I'm dead. I just push aside all my worries and stress and wait for it to pile it up.

I need inspiration.

I need reality and my realistic dreams, not puffy dreams that can be blown away with one breadth.

Something is missing, the fire is out.

My fire is going out,
the flame flickers,
the wax its enemy,
the wick eaten up.

My fire is going out,
the wind stills,
the struggle continues,
but no one notices.

My fire is going out,
amist the hustle and bustle,
the cries and sorrows,
the happiness and ...

My fire is going out,
in the sea of flames,
its insignificant gasp of air,
and the world carries on.

Surprise Birthday Party

Happy ?th Birthday Cousin!!!

I spent 'a lot' of time planning for this. A mass email, a pleading voice to my roommate, a lucky visit from a good friend, and lots of luck.

So basically, like always, I sent out a mass email. No one replied. I made a list of friends to invite and whined (like a little girl :) to my roommate to call a few friends on my list. But I only call one. My friend decided to come visit me (and others) on a sat evening, so he decided to stay for the party. Lucky for me, since he can drop me off to buy the cake, presents, and foodstuff, all of which was split into two = cheaper for me.

So in the end, surprise party!!!! Hid in the bday girl's room, although she already kinda figured it out, since she saw someone peeping from her room window blinds.

Bought too small a cake, since I didnt expect surprise visitors. In the end, the party turned out to be more of a MSA hang out.

But it didnt matter. It was still fun! And tiring...coz it was late at night.

I think this is the most unplanned party of the year, with lots of unplanned visitors too.

Penniless and a new sport

Today is possibily the highest FLY AWAY money day.

I ate out TWICE. Lunch at Misal, aka high class indian buffet and later at Fung's Kitchen, aka chinese food.

That may not seem much, but to someone who is trying to keep expenses to a absolute bare mininum, eating out twice is a whole lot of money spent when I could just eat cereal at home, especially since im not picky about food,that if I could eat, I rather eat cheap.

I am currently running out of cash...bankruptcy is nearing unless I do something about it. That's why im cutting alot of my eating out expenses, which considering the fact that I dont eat out much, I cant save money either.

Blame it all on the upcoming spring break trip to ... Texas (maybe) and Puerto Rico (heck yea baby!) Puerto Rico is going to cost 3500 and that's wayyyyy too much. If I pay for that right now, I am officially deep in shit. My only way out is to turn to Hello Daddy, your daughter needs more money.

Shucks.

Plus, summer coming and the post of voluntary/unpaid internship is not helping my financially status. For the first time, I really am in deeeeepppp shittttt.....

Donations anyone? Care to fund for a future begger?

On a more interesting note...I went fencing today.

Yes! Free fencing lesson sponsored by....the fencing club! Duh.

My friend is a menber/student of the club and he sent out mass emails to all his friends. Only my couz and me went. Hehehehe. I dont even know how I made it out there alive, considering I hate fighting/competitions. No, wait. I dont hate...I am terrified, and that's much worse.

I remembered once...my friend was questioning me why I always skip Judo practices...I came up with a bunch of excuses, which was all true, but he wasnt satisfied, until I finally said, "It's fear." He stopped asking, and we walked together silently to the Judo practise area.

Dont even ask why I join in the first place, or why I couldnt quit.

And the fear was alive when I entered the fencing club. It stayed until I competed. As usual, I lost twice in both of my matches. I hate competitions, I hate winning and I hate losing. I always wondered why I couldnt just practise...but not compete. I just want to learn and have fun. Competions are not fun.

Nevertheless, I came out of fencing alive and feeling horrible that I lost two matches. It only seemed to reinforce the feeling that I am useless and hopeless. But I was glad I went, because I learned something, the not-so-fun-way, but with lots-of-fun-poised pictures. Hahaha.

Sexy Asians and....

I saw Mr J. Ong today, and he just blew me away with one glance. I had just come out from the shower, my hair wet and untidied, wearing a short paddington bear shirt and a grey guy's shorts. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and he entered. We greeted each other while I quickly attempted a get-away. Normally, I wouldnt even care what I looked like at home even when there are guys around. Example: I have a guy housemate, whom I treat more like a big brother.

"Eh, I hungry leh. Can cook me something ar?" I asked my housemate.

"Oklah. What you want to eat?" He answered.

Fine. So I treat my housemate like a big brother bordering a slave, but at least, I dont care how I look in front of him.

With Mr J. Ong, it has been ages since I last saw him, not to forget that everytime I see him, my heart melts, just because he is that cool character-wise. Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that we are pretty similar in some ways. He looks like Ru-fi-o from the cartoon Peter Pan. He has great dance moves too, if he could only get pass his shyness in front of people.

So, looking at Mr. J Ong, I suddenly remembered why Asians are so sexy. Not many Asians here can perform the same feat. Of course, it is different if I am on home ground, but im not. Choices are limited and there are only two who makes me weak in the knees.

The first is Mr. J Ong. The second is the mysterious Mr. D Ling. I think names starting with D are incredibly sexy, especially if they have the brooding mysterious look.

It is very sad that I can only find TWO sexy asian guys, who unfortunately, I dont see them often or even get to know them well.

Asians have a feel of belongness, comfort and home. It is soothing to the soul. Yet, Whites are incredibily handsome, just because of their face features - Big colored eyes, high bridge nose, well defined jaw, long curved eyelashes, and multi-shades of hair color that looks extremely pretty when layered.

If I had one choice, which RACE would I choose?

Someone with both bloodlines. A white father, asian mother. Perfecto. *Bring fingers to lips and kiss it.* Muahs!

But seriously, I dont care, so long as the person is only the same frequency with me.

--------------------------

Continuing from Ex-Mexico Mr President Fox, guess who is the next famous speaker to come to OU.

Trust me, everyone (in my age group) knows him.

Presenting
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Al Gore!!!!!! Former Vice-President, and with an Oscar-nomination for a film based on his book, The Inconvient Truth! Fun facts, the only running candiates to have 500 more votes in the federal elections, but still lost to G. Bush due to state restrictions.

Al Gore came to OU to present his work about Global Warming. The 'stadium' was huge, and half was filled, with the rest of the people streaming in a little further to the ends of a occupied half circle.

The presentation was amazing! And, yes, I have pictures...not with him, but of him. All the same, I count myself fortunate that he visited OU and I got to see him LIVE!