Happy Birthday

Today [9/28] is my 21st birthday. I am happy and tipsy. Yes, tipsy because I can finally drink alcohol legally :)

I drank one glass of Singapore sling, one melonball shot, half sex on the beach drink, and two blowjob shots with cream on top of it. Don’t ask. At first, while drinking the blowjob, I was kind of nervous and I laughed twice or thrice before I could finally get myself to drown it all. And it was good. I mean, really good. The first time, I managed to get everything down in my throat. The second time, I left a little bit in the cup and picked it up to drink it. It was certainly an unforgettably experience especially since it happened during my 21st birthday.

Thanks J.Lee for ordering the blowjob.
Thanks C.G.L for paying for my drinks.
Thanks C.N for paying for the melonball.
Thanks to the Mont for my free shirt.
Thanks to R.N for my tea café shirt.
Thanks C.I. for throwing the best birthday.

Pls: Apparently, no one knew why the blowjob had cream on top and J.Lee was surprised. I thought the cream was for decoration and I didn’t like it because it was fattening. Don’t you know what comes with a blowjob, he said incredulously. Then, I got it. I don’t know about the others.

Pls: Thanks to my cousin for celebrating my 21st birthday and making it such a great party even though it was a day late. And thanks for the filet breakfast with cucumbers around it! :)

Pls: Thanks to everyone for being there even though you didn’t know about it.

I was afraid I was going to do nothing on my 21st birthday but apparently, patience is a good virtue. I was worried I was going to let my 21st birthday past me by and when it is gone, it can never come back. I guess it is good that I have a cousin here. Family will always stick by you no matter what.

“Oh no, she’s becoming an alcoholic. And now, every drink will taste like cherry.” – J.Lee :)

Edit: The above was written right aften I came home. Not bad, huh.

Uh oh.

According to my mom, dad is very very angry.

So angry that he didnt sent me an email for a long long time.

So angry that he ASKED my computer-dummy mom to sent me an email.

So angry that my mom repeated that he is very mad THRICE in her email in between what's going on at home and tales of everyone.

~~~

Yesterday, while I was in the middle of shower, my head snapped up. "Oh, shit!" I said. I totally forgot about dad's birthday.

Now he is very very angry.

"Oh, shit?"

You bet.

~~~

I replied mom that I will MAKE a special present for him.

Aka, I have no clue.

~~~

Normally, dad reminds me to wish so-and-so happy birthday. Like for example, my mom, my bro and my sis. Dont ask why but I know when their bdays are but I always forget to wish them until the day is over. So anyway, dad is mad that I forgot his too! And secretly think he is too proud, upset, and mad to sent me an email demanding that I wish him a Happy Birthday!!! Hehehe. Proud? In some sense. More like "keeping face". You know, the manly attitude.

~~~

Im still in deep shit. But I think Im okay. Hehehe. Dad doesnt stay mad for long. Hehehehe :)

~~~

Problem: What to give dad as his birthday present?

Procastination

Today I...

didnt do much. It was a boring day.

Tomorrow I...

will do more. I will be twice as quick.

The next week I...

will be done. And my world complete.

Today I...

didnt do much. It was a boring day.

Japanese

Me: Yonensee
Sensei: Yonensee?
Me *hestitantly*: Yonensee
Sensei: Senior?
Me: Hai

Do I look young or what?! ;) Then sensei asked, "Who is super senior?" She said some japanese word...

I didnt raise up my hand of course. It would be a double shock to her, and she will remember me in class for all eternity. Ok, a year at most.

Japanese reading - kills my brain cells. I swear they are dieing right now.

Me = new words = brain freeze

I dont know what's sensei's impression of me. I did pretty good on my homework because sugi-san was helping me. I did pretty good on the test because I was lucky and consistent on my quizzes.

But the vocab ... ... ... die lah!!! It is all so strange sounding that its almost like speaking in dreams. You know what you are talking about, but you dont know what you are saying.

Need distraction

I dont know why, but I am nervous, tense and agitated.

I have to expell all these energy before I go bonkers.

Japanese exam finished 1.5 hours ago, but Im still feeling edgy. I keep thinking about that, this, that over there, some romanji and some english translation.

I cannot concentrate and I keep shifting around in my seat. My throat is tight and my breathing fast and shallow. And hunger calls and my tummy hurts from my erratic breathing and the hunger.

I need distraction, commotion, something to take my mind of the tension.

I need relaxation. Maybe I should bring some aromatic jasmine oil to school next time It worked pretty well the first time I tried it when my neck was aching.

I didnt sleep till 5am and I kept having dreams of this boy who wrote a love letter to his girlfriend and vice versa. I think I am going crazy. And in my dream I was the boy and I am writing the letter, or seeing it written, but in reality, I kept scratching the side of my feet (thinking of writing) so I woke up with a swollen itchy vein.

I think I am going crazy. I kept imagining there are bedbugs and it is biting my leg (therefore the occasional wake up in the middle of the night and morning scratches) and the three separate scarve like blanket that I use to cover myself is making me paranoid because I dont dare to turn in my sleep and risk the cold. Ok, I am still nervous and tense. This whole writing therapy - not working.

Home. World. Universe.

Im not sure how well I'll do in my first japanese test.

So far, I've been pretty consistent on the quizzes but that is *sub-sub-sui* (easy).

***

I dont really know why the hell am I learning japanese for. It is because I really LOVE japanese language, or because of anime influences, friends' influence, just simply easy A, etc.

I think its a combination of all. Friend's influence, anime... these two are big influences on why I am in japanese class. Loving the language...hmm, i wouldnt say it would be much use since its only used in japan, not like spanish or french, but I have to admit that japanese sounds more foreign and exotic than spanish or french, only because im in U.S. duh.

I think I would have love to study french, if only I had some kinda background since most students here have taken it before in high school and its pretty easy for them. I hate to struggle when people are taking it breezy, that's why I went for japanese. Hey, how hard can it be when I have chinese background? *pfft* say what!?

***
I dont really know if I should balik kampung in december. My cousin is going back, but then she hasnt been back for two years. Me, hmm. If I dont go back this year, it could be more than two years before I can go back again. Decisions, decisions. What can I do if I go back? Nothing. I will be trapped at home, in a shared room, with no air-con, no peace, no privacy, and constant noise from loud shouting.

The last time I went back, I forgot everything about U.S. Everything. When I got back, I could barely remember what my room looks like or where my stuff were. It was that bad. Like some kind of fuzzy dream. I dont know how to explain it, but my brain seems to think that msia/spore is HOME, WORLD, UNIVERSE and everything else outside it is ... FOREIGN AND ALIEN. So once I return to msia, U.S. became dream-like - the way it used to be when I was a child. Like a moon orbiting around earth. Even now, in U.S. I feel like a foreigner, because I keep refering to those americans as ang mo and using my daily dose of lah, leh, mah, meh, etc. Or maybe it is because I cannot accept them deep down in my heart - low tolerance or something.

But of course, I am in U.S. now, and it definitely does not feel dreamlike to me, not when I have a test in less than 12 hours and tons of reading to catch up on.

Hmm, maybe I left my heart in msia, where my family is...or wait...

heart = stomach = food

food = I miss = heart

heart = home

Therefore, heart = food = home = universe

Hehehe. Whatever. I am just procastinating my studies for japanese. Shucks.

Please excuse my ramblings.