Realization

One of the things I realized, as I sit, laze, dream in bed, is that I have more time to daydream and be myself now that I have my own room. I have no parents yelling my name or nagging me.

I have more time, more freedom, even it is just a room space.

I am becoming to used to this freedom. I want to explore my surroundings, and know the place. Have a feel for it.

Today, I ran my usual 5km route near the neighborhood and decided to check out a building nearby. Turns out, it is the neighborhood shopping mall, where once I wanted to walk home from there, but didn't know my directions. On the way back, I took a different path through a man-made park, cutting through some apartments, and then finding my path back home again.

It is things like this, the wonderment of a new environment, that makes me dream.

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I am just glad that I still have the strength to run my usual 5km without so much of a stop, except at the traffic lights. Living by myself, I always find a reason to skimp on my food, until I tire out extremely quickly. I can feel my weak muscles where once they pound the streets with strength and endurance. But then, it has only been a week plus since I last ran my 5km, so perhaps I have not deteriorate as badly as I thought I had.

Running is now part of my lifestyle, however much I dislike it. I have to prep myself up for it for a day before I am roaring to go.

I always think that if I am a naturally skinny person, I wouldn't have to exercise so much. But I'm not, so I'm running. On second thought, if I am skinny and I did not exercise, I would just be a pretty face without a fit body. I like having a fit body, and so, I think I am just resigned to exercising, however much I sigh and groan, because the outcome produces much happiness. Think endorphins. Plus, it clears my head, and trains my focus (aka, don't stop, keep running, bring the leg up, get rid of those chunky thighs yea). Told you, I have to cheer myself on to keep running.

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I just want to dance. Let me dance. Smooth and slow. Fast and tight. Quick and sexy.

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Can I dream on. Let me breathe.

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With this free space, I can finally reflect, write, and be just myself. How peculiar the silent me. I have forgotten how you were until now.

Just the beginning

Salsa. I am taking up salsa again. Because I can. Because I need to. Because I want to.

Because its love.

Thank you for remaining in me, this passion unknown.

I finally bought my pair of dancing shoes, and ballet heels. Just too pretty!

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Finally bought my first bb cream as well. Skin79 VIP Gold. Plus a Za Cleasing Gel.

I feel happy. Too much excitment. Probably thats why my hunger system is messed up.

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Such love. I dont want to feel it.

Just go away and leave me be.

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I need to run. Run. Run like the wind.

And plenty of sleep.