Happy Birthday

Today [9/28] is my 21st birthday. I am happy and tipsy. Yes, tipsy because I can finally drink alcohol legally :)

I drank one glass of Singapore sling, one melonball shot, half sex on the beach drink, and two blowjob shots with cream on top of it. Don’t ask. At first, while drinking the blowjob, I was kind of nervous and I laughed twice or thrice before I could finally get myself to drown it all. And it was good. I mean, really good. The first time, I managed to get everything down in my throat. The second time, I left a little bit in the cup and picked it up to drink it. It was certainly an unforgettably experience especially since it happened during my 21st birthday.

Thanks J.Lee for ordering the blowjob.
Thanks C.G.L for paying for my drinks.
Thanks C.N for paying for the melonball.
Thanks to the Mont for my free shirt.
Thanks to R.N for my tea café shirt.
Thanks C.I. for throwing the best birthday.

Pls: Apparently, no one knew why the blowjob had cream on top and J.Lee was surprised. I thought the cream was for decoration and I didn’t like it because it was fattening. Don’t you know what comes with a blowjob, he said incredulously. Then, I got it. I don’t know about the others.

Pls: Thanks to my cousin for celebrating my 21st birthday and making it such a great party even though it was a day late. And thanks for the filet breakfast with cucumbers around it! :)

Pls: Thanks to everyone for being there even though you didn’t know about it.

I was afraid I was going to do nothing on my 21st birthday but apparently, patience is a good virtue. I was worried I was going to let my 21st birthday past me by and when it is gone, it can never come back. I guess it is good that I have a cousin here. Family will always stick by you no matter what.

“Oh no, she’s becoming an alcoholic. And now, every drink will taste like cherry.” – J.Lee :)

Edit: The above was written right aften I came home. Not bad, huh.

Uh oh.

According to my mom, dad is very very angry.

So angry that he didnt sent me an email for a long long time.

So angry that he ASKED my computer-dummy mom to sent me an email.

So angry that my mom repeated that he is very mad THRICE in her email in between what's going on at home and tales of everyone.

~~~

Yesterday, while I was in the middle of shower, my head snapped up. "Oh, shit!" I said. I totally forgot about dad's birthday.

Now he is very very angry.

"Oh, shit?"

You bet.

~~~

I replied mom that I will MAKE a special present for him.

Aka, I have no clue.

~~~

Normally, dad reminds me to wish so-and-so happy birthday. Like for example, my mom, my bro and my sis. Dont ask why but I know when their bdays are but I always forget to wish them until the day is over. So anyway, dad is mad that I forgot his too! And secretly think he is too proud, upset, and mad to sent me an email demanding that I wish him a Happy Birthday!!! Hehehe. Proud? In some sense. More like "keeping face". You know, the manly attitude.

~~~

Im still in deep shit. But I think Im okay. Hehehe. Dad doesnt stay mad for long. Hehehehe :)

~~~

Problem: What to give dad as his birthday present?

Procastination

Today I...

didnt do much. It was a boring day.

Tomorrow I...

will do more. I will be twice as quick.

The next week I...

will be done. And my world complete.

Today I...

didnt do much. It was a boring day.

Japanese

Me: Yonensee
Sensei: Yonensee?
Me *hestitantly*: Yonensee
Sensei: Senior?
Me: Hai

Do I look young or what?! ;) Then sensei asked, "Who is super senior?" She said some japanese word...

I didnt raise up my hand of course. It would be a double shock to her, and she will remember me in class for all eternity. Ok, a year at most.

Japanese reading - kills my brain cells. I swear they are dieing right now.

Me = new words = brain freeze

I dont know what's sensei's impression of me. I did pretty good on my homework because sugi-san was helping me. I did pretty good on the test because I was lucky and consistent on my quizzes.

But the vocab ... ... ... die lah!!! It is all so strange sounding that its almost like speaking in dreams. You know what you are talking about, but you dont know what you are saying.

Need distraction

I dont know why, but I am nervous, tense and agitated.

I have to expell all these energy before I go bonkers.

Japanese exam finished 1.5 hours ago, but Im still feeling edgy. I keep thinking about that, this, that over there, some romanji and some english translation.

I cannot concentrate and I keep shifting around in my seat. My throat is tight and my breathing fast and shallow. And hunger calls and my tummy hurts from my erratic breathing and the hunger.

I need distraction, commotion, something to take my mind of the tension.

I need relaxation. Maybe I should bring some aromatic jasmine oil to school next time It worked pretty well the first time I tried it when my neck was aching.

I didnt sleep till 5am and I kept having dreams of this boy who wrote a love letter to his girlfriend and vice versa. I think I am going crazy. And in my dream I was the boy and I am writing the letter, or seeing it written, but in reality, I kept scratching the side of my feet (thinking of writing) so I woke up with a swollen itchy vein.

I think I am going crazy. I kept imagining there are bedbugs and it is biting my leg (therefore the occasional wake up in the middle of the night and morning scratches) and the three separate scarve like blanket that I use to cover myself is making me paranoid because I dont dare to turn in my sleep and risk the cold. Ok, I am still nervous and tense. This whole writing therapy - not working.

Home. World. Universe.

Im not sure how well I'll do in my first japanese test.

So far, I've been pretty consistent on the quizzes but that is *sub-sub-sui* (easy).

***

I dont really know why the hell am I learning japanese for. It is because I really LOVE japanese language, or because of anime influences, friends' influence, just simply easy A, etc.

I think its a combination of all. Friend's influence, anime... these two are big influences on why I am in japanese class. Loving the language...hmm, i wouldnt say it would be much use since its only used in japan, not like spanish or french, but I have to admit that japanese sounds more foreign and exotic than spanish or french, only because im in U.S. duh.

I think I would have love to study french, if only I had some kinda background since most students here have taken it before in high school and its pretty easy for them. I hate to struggle when people are taking it breezy, that's why I went for japanese. Hey, how hard can it be when I have chinese background? *pfft* say what!?

***
I dont really know if I should balik kampung in december. My cousin is going back, but then she hasnt been back for two years. Me, hmm. If I dont go back this year, it could be more than two years before I can go back again. Decisions, decisions. What can I do if I go back? Nothing. I will be trapped at home, in a shared room, with no air-con, no peace, no privacy, and constant noise from loud shouting.

The last time I went back, I forgot everything about U.S. Everything. When I got back, I could barely remember what my room looks like or where my stuff were. It was that bad. Like some kind of fuzzy dream. I dont know how to explain it, but my brain seems to think that msia/spore is HOME, WORLD, UNIVERSE and everything else outside it is ... FOREIGN AND ALIEN. So once I return to msia, U.S. became dream-like - the way it used to be when I was a child. Like a moon orbiting around earth. Even now, in U.S. I feel like a foreigner, because I keep refering to those americans as ang mo and using my daily dose of lah, leh, mah, meh, etc. Or maybe it is because I cannot accept them deep down in my heart - low tolerance or something.

But of course, I am in U.S. now, and it definitely does not feel dreamlike to me, not when I have a test in less than 12 hours and tons of reading to catch up on.

Hmm, maybe I left my heart in msia, where my family is...or wait...

heart = stomach = food

food = I miss = heart

heart = home

Therefore, heart = food = home = universe

Hehehe. Whatever. I am just procastinating my studies for japanese. Shucks.

Please excuse my ramblings.

Japanese update!

I was crossing the large field of grass this morning when it suddenly hit me.

Boys cannot be just friends.

Then it hit me again.

I have no friends.

***
Japanese class is super fun. Im glad I have it everyday! And I made lots of friends in class too! It is the only class where I can turn to someone and say, "Hey, what does this mean", or "Have you studied yet", or "How did your quiz go?"

I think jap class is the only class where I actually talk to my neighbors. In other classes, I just sit, stare, write, forced to discuss (when the time comes), and leave.

And Im so glad my jap class neighbors consist of one extra talkative thick skin guy, one JSA, one TSA, one new msian, one know-it-all and me-caught-in-the-middle.

Lalalalala. Yay!

***
Kindness for false hopes does not pay. It kills everything.

Japanese

Im taking it this semester.

My bedtime story

My cousin just came back from her internship and as much as she gets on my nerves at times, sometimes just because she is too fussy and clean and well, a little mad coz I dont wash the dishes asap, she is still my cousin and it is good to have someone, a family member, around.

I have been glad. At the same time, feeling that my friends have change during the summer internship while I remained, according to me, same. Relationships strained, broken, new, or renewed.

One friend has gotten involved with a butch.

Another friend is fed up and mad at another.

Next fell in and out of love.

So many so fast so much.

It is a little unreal now. Listening to my cousin's story and just trying to comprehen everything.

Revamp

Im so happy. I got rid of some of my apartment's old stuff.

Like soup scoup, knifes, photoframes, vegetable strainer and two large plastic bowls, old pot and pan, small pink tier stand, one pillow, a lamp, rubbish bin, extension cord.

Yea! Now I (house) have less stuff. I feel great because I reduce waste and money. I feel like Im an orang guni, you know, the man who always comes to your door and ask if you want to sell your newspapers. Hahaha.

I wish I get paid for recycling. Sigh. Here, I just throw everything into a recycling bin and get nothing. Not that I mind, but I used to remember those days where they pay you for your waste. Like $$$ per kg. Not much. My mom gets a dollar or two for one big TALL stack, but it is still fun.

And suddenly, I realised that my ex-roommate left a bunch of soft toys on my cousin's bed. Since she is coming back tonight, *gasp*, I had to do something about the toys. I used it to decorate my couch and the mattress in the living room.

I realise I still have a lot of stuff to do...before dear o' cousin comes back. She is rather picky, clean, and likes to have less stuff. She is always complaining that I have too much clothes, when actually, it is just a little more than hers. It is not like I have mountains of clothes. The only reason why we like to get rid of stuff is because we think it is easier when we move out, to other states or back to kampung village.

Sigh. Im tired. I think I will sleep before doing anything. Zzzzzz

To belaL

The police was giving an information session to the new international students.

"It cant be hard to get a driving license because I got mine," he said with a straight face.

I laughed.

My friend, in shock, said, "Dont laugh. It is not funny. I dont like police."

I laughed again.

I love hanging out with friends whom I can connect with instantly.

Lucky Seven

I PASSED!!! Yes!!!

So a few things happened this summer.

One: I got a cellphone.
Reason: My roommate left for good to Malaysia and I took over his plan.

Two: I passed my driving written test!!! The service was damn turtle. I waited for one and a half hours to take the test because only one computer was used. Then I had to go to the TAG agency to process my license. So I had to travel again and wait for another hour because there were many turtles around, including technical malfunctioning turtles.
Reason: Forced myself or risk my cousin's wrath since she was coming back the next day -.-

Three: Gave away two mattresses.
Reason: Got 3 for free from a couple moving to a new apartment. My apartment now has 5 mattresses, even after giving away 2. I left one mattress in the living room because it doubles up as a guest bed. Hahaha.

Four: Read lots of storybooks.
Reason: For fun and some for school.

Five: Cooking inventive lazy (dai cao - big fry) dishes.
Reason: Or the food will spoil.

Six: Clear out rubbish (old notes) in my room and did a little reorganizing.
Reason: Bored.

Seven: Sold some books on amazon.
Reason: Money, more space in my shelf and I have been trying to get rid of them all year.

That's it! The lucky seven of summer 07. Hehehe. Im so inventive. Yea right.

Cheers to the lucky seven.

Agape Love

'Do Dogs Feel Love?'

http://pets.yahoo.com/dogs/behavior-and-training/316/do-dogs-feel-love/

"The highest form of love, agape love, which is completely unconditional, is something that people often have to work at or grow into. Agape love seems to come naturally between parent and child, but it’s more difficult between husband and wife, and harder still between friends. To love someone regardless of what wrongs they have done you is very difficult for humans."

"Learning to know somebody intimately is often the beginnings of dislike, sometimes even of contempt."

"A dog, however, is born with an endless capacity for agape love, and doesn’t even have to work at it...He’s just happy you’re there. More amazing still, is that the love that dogs and owners feel for each other lasts a lifetime. This is the ideal love humans strive for, but often fail at."

***

Why do I feel that the above quote is so true? Esp the one in blue. Knowing someone, knowing too much disrupts and destroy friendship, or at least pricks the bubble of an ideal rainbow world.

Keep your distance,
near and far,
be a stone,
rock, mountain,
and the hollow trees,
in the roaring wind.

Keep a secret,
in and out,
manifest not,
in dear life,
and hidden long,
seem small after.

Weird Cooking Style

You cannot imagine how hard it is to survive without snacks. I normally have one real meal a day. The rest of the day consist of snacks. Ever since my roommate left last thursday, I have eating chocolate, drinking can soup, and munching on DRY cereal. Dry, because I ran out of milk. Oh, and ice cream.

And while there is still "food" in the fridge...tofu, bean sprout, bai cai, 3 mushroom, and some wilted herbs. Hahaha.

In the freezer, I have red bean and lotus bao, roti prata and yea, ice cream.

While I can eat bao in the morning, I really cant because I have to steam them first and my wok (used for steaming too) is in the fridge with one week's meal of potatos, bean sprout and minced pork. Yea. One week's meal - once a day mah.

I didnt know that it took such a LONG time to cook the potatos. I fried them for ages with the bean sprout and pork but it was still a little tough inside. So today, I made potato soup. Hahaha. Boil some of those damn potatos and it tasted really good! What a surprise for a lousy cooker! :)

I think it was because my potato has been fried with pork + bean sprout + onions + chili sauce + salt + white pepper + tomato sauce. All I did was add a little more salt and chili sauce to the water and wah, the potato damn tasty! Hahahaha. I think if my roommate had seen me cooking, he would have fainted. Hahahaha. I mean, WHO cooks potato and minced pork with bean sprout!?

I actually wanted to cook the pork + bean sp. + onions but I didnt know what to do with the stupid potatos. So I just cooked everything together ;p Hehehehe....

But ohhh, it turns out so fine when I boiled the semi hard potatos that I decided I am going to cook wan tan mee tomorrow :) Hehehehe.

Left over potatos + bean spr + pork + mee + bai cai + mushroom...

Wahahaha. Delicious!

pls: There is a big-ass cricket in my room!!! Im never going to sleep until I catch it!!! Grrr!!!

Rantings

I have been seeing lots of beaches in pictures, especially now that it is summer.

Now, I ask you. What is so great about beaches?

Im sorry but I hate them. They are nothing extraordinary. I think its extremely boring to go to beaches for holidays. What's the deal with them? All beaches look the same to me.

Griny sand, sky blue water, foam, curling waves, surf boards, hot looking people, fat people, skinny people, bikinis, dogs, food, water botter, sun tan lotion...

So what's the fuss with them? All those pictures about beaches are making me ill, sick to the stomach. Famous beaches, not so famous beaches, normal beaches. Whatever. They all look the same to me, feel the same, smell the same.

It is like eating rice, soft rice, hard rice, watery rice. Except for beaches, the difference is ZERO percent. At least rice has flavor and different texture.

And so, I am hating beaches. Dont get me wrong. I have loathe them since I was very young. There is nothing more boring than going to beaches and having to endure the same experience of the wave hitting your back, salty water, bright light, sticky hair, rough sand and skin cancer.

My friend once commented on MY FUTURE HUSBAND.

Eh, I dont have a boyfriend yet leh, now talking about husband?

She said, "I pity your future husband, you get bored so easily. I think you like to have a lot excitement."

*smiles wirly* Thanks for the observance.

But oh so true, I need LOTS of excitement. Hey, just because I like to stay at home doesnt mean I am boring. Before I left my home country for oh-so-great U.S., I was full of frustrations. It was too boring. Too boring. My country is too boring!!! There is nothing to do but go for movies, eat out, karaoke. My only savior was ice skating but I didnt have a car, so I couldnt go there anytime I wanted. Besides, on some days and on some times, it was too crowded.

So I left for U.S., enjoyed. Have fun. I am still not bored yet, only because life is a little exciting without parents around, relatives judging my every action (like secret spies, their frowns so apparent). I love being on my own, so much freedom, so much space, and endless possibilities!

I think I will "die" of frustration if I ever go back and live there forever. Or maybe not. As long as I'm out of my parent's rule, I am fine.

But beaches, boyfriends, parents. I am sorry, but haha! I'm glad to be free of them. So constricting, so annoying.

Haih, at this rate. Welcome to spinsterhood! Seriously, I mean, the last time I went back, even my MOM! mention the word, "husband". Er, mom, I dont even have a bf yet so I dont think I will get married and move away that fast.

*roll eyes* I am ALREADY away!

Books

I have been reading much this summer and I realised I have very little authors that I really like. But here are the best of the best according to ...ME.

In random order, of the top of my head and the books that I love BEST! I simply cannot live without them :) Basically five stars plus one because they are just so memorable.

1) L. J. Smith (Everything except vampire diaries)
2) Juliet Marillier ( The Sevenwaters Trilogy)
3) Diana Wynn Jones (Chestomanci series)
4) Victoria Holt ( Demon Lover)
5) Tamora Pierce ( Immortals and Song of the Lioness)

Books that I love best but still able to survive if they are returned to the library. Sigh.
6) David Feintuch (Midshipman's Hope --- the only one I read so far...hehe)


Okay, so I have run out of ideas. Im sure there are somemore out there. Hmmm...

tata!

Spore :)

Happy independence Singapore!

:)

Wishes for all around.

May you be as clean and green as can be.

Jeff Buttle

I have found the perfect male specimen in...

Jeffrey Buttle...

*smile growing stupidly wider*

check him out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pu6CDz6P6Qk&mode=related&search

So Im been stalking him on youtube for a few days, but hey, all's fine. I was just listening to the music, you know.

On the other hand, I really really want to skate now. Or pick up skating again.

M L6

I bought a new cell phone!!! Hehehe...

My roommate is going to pass his phone to me after he leaves for malaysia and his phone wai-wai-de wan, aka something wrong.

So heh, I HAVE to buy a new unlock cellphone. If you have seen US cellphones, most of them are outdated or discontinued. They remind me of all those oldies cars on the road, which no one has seen in ages. But while the cars look anciently classy and sometimes cute-in-a-way, the cellphones are vomitingly ill. I wonder how US can be so far back in cellphone technology, almost three to five years back and that's a lot considering how cellphone technology has rapidly advance.

Anyway, I bought my *new* cellphone on Ebay. I think it is discontinued but it is still sold cheaply in some places, which gives me the impression that is either made in CHINA! (cheap labor) or refurbished. Whatever.

So, here goes nothing....presenting...

MOTOROLA L6!

Yes!

Or wait, you dont even remember it...

Forget it then.

Bought it for like $107.

Told you. Expensive piece of outdated discontined phone.

Whatever. It better work or I will be pissed.


pls: Im really FURIOUS with the cellphone plans for T mobile. After using it for 2 years and reaching the end of the contract, you have to renew a 2 year plan if you want a better (yea right, more like ancient) phone. What kind of stupid rule is that! Freaking dumb, I tell you. I am disgusted.

The Slave

Bills bills and more bills.

I am dying under this thin paperless substance of sucking bills.

The suck all the good things out of you like fun and happiness.

I was just thinking of a way to save up more money, when I realized it is really difficult to do that considering that there are rents, groceries, going out with friends, and later on, tuition, books, and of course, THE CELLPHONE!!!

More bills to pay. Ill.

So now my monthly expenditure will be averagely 500? That is too much!!! More than the amount I earn!!!

Arrggh. I am dying again.

Of course, there are ways to overcome money flying away.

1) Go out with boys who pay for you.
2) Become president of some cultural organizations and you get to go to cultural nights for free! as well as go to PANAM parties for free!
3) Download movies.
4) Stop hanging out with friends and Im serious unless no money is involved! :)
5) Stop eating outside.
6) Sell away books :)
7) Stop buying snacks and diet everyday.
8) Bring food to school.
9) Dont ever succumb to deals if you dont need said item.
10) Go to events that have free food.


Bah!