Realization

One of the things I realized, as I sit, laze, dream in bed, is that I have more time to daydream and be myself now that I have my own room. I have no parents yelling my name or nagging me.

I have more time, more freedom, even it is just a room space.

I am becoming to used to this freedom. I want to explore my surroundings, and know the place. Have a feel for it.

Today, I ran my usual 5km route near the neighborhood and decided to check out a building nearby. Turns out, it is the neighborhood shopping mall, where once I wanted to walk home from there, but didn't know my directions. On the way back, I took a different path through a man-made park, cutting through some apartments, and then finding my path back home again.

It is things like this, the wonderment of a new environment, that makes me dream.

~~~

I am just glad that I still have the strength to run my usual 5km without so much of a stop, except at the traffic lights. Living by myself, I always find a reason to skimp on my food, until I tire out extremely quickly. I can feel my weak muscles where once they pound the streets with strength and endurance. But then, it has only been a week plus since I last ran my 5km, so perhaps I have not deteriorate as badly as I thought I had.

Running is now part of my lifestyle, however much I dislike it. I have to prep myself up for it for a day before I am roaring to go.

I always think that if I am a naturally skinny person, I wouldn't have to exercise so much. But I'm not, so I'm running. On second thought, if I am skinny and I did not exercise, I would just be a pretty face without a fit body. I like having a fit body, and so, I think I am just resigned to exercising, however much I sigh and groan, because the outcome produces much happiness. Think endorphins. Plus, it clears my head, and trains my focus (aka, don't stop, keep running, bring the leg up, get rid of those chunky thighs yea). Told you, I have to cheer myself on to keep running.

~~~

I just want to dance. Let me dance. Smooth and slow. Fast and tight. Quick and sexy.

~~~

Can I dream on. Let me breathe.

~~~

With this free space, I can finally reflect, write, and be just myself. How peculiar the silent me. I have forgotten how you were until now.

Just the beginning

Salsa. I am taking up salsa again. Because I can. Because I need to. Because I want to.

Because its love.

Thank you for remaining in me, this passion unknown.

I finally bought my pair of dancing shoes, and ballet heels. Just too pretty!

~~~

Finally bought my first bb cream as well. Skin79 VIP Gold. Plus a Za Cleasing Gel.

I feel happy. Too much excitment. Probably thats why my hunger system is messed up.

~~~

Such love. I dont want to feel it.

Just go away and leave me be.

~~~

I need to run. Run. Run like the wind.

And plenty of sleep.

Sunday Cooking

The prune cake is gone. In a day.

So I baked another one.

Prune and Apple Cake.

I modified the recipe since the first was too sweet, and there were not enough fruits. I used the same amount of prunes, added 3 chopped apples, 2 eggs, 1.5 cups flour, cinnamon, nutmeg, 1 cup yogurt, 3 tbsp oil, 1 tbsp honey, almonds, and totally forgot the baking soda.

After an hour of waiting torture, I pulled out the pan and behold, my delicious healthy cake.

Unfortunately, it was rather moist. Sniff sniff. I suppose it was because the apples and prunes contained too much water. But that's okay. After cooling, it hardened back up, or at least, I hope, coz the same happened to the first prune cake.

I realized that the prunes themselves were horrifyingly sweet. I bought them from a mart selling only baking ingredients. They repacked the prunes and so I have no clue where these prunes came from. The prunes were cheaper but I think I am going to avoid them next time.

~~~

A few hours earlier, I made kimchi fried rice for lunch.

Chopped a white onion, celery, carrots, and kimchi. Cooked with brown rice, and oooohhh, we have kimchi fried rice. Munch munch.

~~~

So it seems as if our kitchen has been busy preparing a ton of food, especially since mom has been churning out another two tubs of pineapple tarts and shepard pie for dinner, with ahem, the help of our maid. Somehow, I prefer preparing the food myself.

Mom's shepard pie was fine, but there was something noticeably missing, so I ordered my little sister to bring out the oregano, rosemary and cayenne pepper. Sprinkled them into my bowl and viola, the western version. (My mom made the chinese version.) My whole family did the same (courtesy of me as I took their bowl and sprinkled on the herbs), and it was delicious. My mom laughed and said I was putting in the witches herbs. Well, it was yummy enough. Suddenly, I was so glad I bought the cayenne pepper, coz frankly, what's our family going to do with it!? We only survive on garlic, red onions, salt and ... some chinese herbs.

Ah, the benefits of coming back from the other side of the world. Suddenly, these western herbs make sense. Sort of. Sometimes.

~~~

And then, at the end of the weekend comes the pain of added weight. Tight skirts and blouses. I frankly dont know why I do this to myself.

Cereal

Ever since Im back, I created this routine for myself.

Every weekend, I would cook something, use a facial scrub, put on a mask, and go swimming.

I failed some weekends, but mostly, I stick to the routine. It's fun.

I enjoy cooking and I missed it when I came back home. Weekends are now the only time when I can cook.

Mostly, my cooking tends to be baking/roasting. Yes, I try to stay healthy.

My speciality lies in baking cereal/museli. It's just too easy. I bring them to work everyday for snacking purposes. The kitchen is stuffed with cereal supplies - TUBS of honey, packets of rolled oats, bottles of raisins, boxes of almond/nuts, packets of sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds. My dad always refers to the sight of mom and I baking, a factory. Because we produce large amount of quantity to last a week, that is, if my brother doesnt go near them first.

So this time, since I have no time no bake cereal, I hid my remaining cereal in another cupboard. Hopefully, there's still enough cereal to last for another week.

Prune Cake

It's been a long time since I was away, and now I'm back.

Oh yea.

My life has been in an uproar but its all settling down nicely.

Today, I baked a prune cake, and it was glorious!

Warm and moist and sweet. Too sweet personally for my liking.

And oh, the whole family farted.

Life after Eve of Nation

I have been incredibly busy for a month plus, and now the craziness has ended. There are no more dances, no more fashion shows, no events (that I want to attend), and no busing tables.

I am quite satisfied with my life. I have plans and it is coming along nicely - cooking, walking, reading, napping, surfing the net, etc.

I made Korean dumplings on sunday night, bak choy on monday, vegetable curry on tuesday, and damn, were they delicious, especially the curry. I have to say that because I started reading recipes online, I have never cooked any successful dishes. But today, I cooked curry from scratch and at first I wondered why it was not spicy, but now, it's just nice. The spice makes my nose run, my tongue burn, and my eyes watery. Perfect.

I have other cooking plans. Banana bread pudding, sweet potato tong sui, baked honey chicken, baked salmon fillet, etc.

Ah, life is wonderful now.

Spring break and Cultural Nights

The best part about saturday and sunday was walking to school, and back. I never realized what a beautiful neighborhood I have and how serene it is. I think from now on, whenever there's a practice going on, I will walk instead of drive because it is good exercise and it saves me from finding a parking place, hoping that OUPD does not give me a ticket.

These days, I have been very busy with cultural nights. It started with Malaysian Night. I was involved in choreographing the fashion show and participated in Dikit Barat. Then, I had to help out with Vietnamese Night's fashion show, and now, Indian dance and fashion show. If there is one big concern of mine, it is I hope the audience are all different all they will be sick of seeing the same people. And soon, it will be the Eve of Nation. I have never participated in so many different cultural nights during my student days, but now that I have graduated, it is easier for me to say yes, I can help because I am always free after five. And I am glad, because it is sort of my dream to participate in other cultural nights, especially India Night.

Whenever I was practicing the India dance, I really wish my partner was Kalyan, instead of Gathum because he is ever so humble and fun to be with, in a geekish way. But I think the feeling will pass soon because it always does, until someone "cooler" comes along.

I spend my spring break camping in Wichita Mountains. A 3 day 2 nights stay. It was a wonderful experience, except for the part where I gained three pounds. We had to cook over a campfire, set up tents (2), gather firewood, hiked, walked to the restroom, and be dirty. We took a semi-primitive campsite, P4, and we loved it so much that we decided to stay for a second night. I mean, who would want to spent half the day setting up the tent for only one day! We had korean beef, roasted vegetables, pancakes, turkey bacon, hotdogs, chili, grapes, strawberries, cookies, crackers, trail mix. No wonder I gained weight.

The night was very cold. The first night, I huddled in my sleeping bag and could feel every stone cutting my hips whenever I turned. The second night, I slept on top of my sleeping bag and did not feel any stone, but I felt the cold eating me alive with just a blanket on top. I was just happy the sun came up.

I dont know why but I'm feeling snackish again. I really need to lose weight or run more. I think the latter sounds nicer. But, I have no time, and that is not an excuse. I am going to walk to school every time we have practice from now on.

V-day Weekend

Happy Belated Valentine's Day. Who knew I would be happy single, but I am! So far, at least. I spent V-day in Dallas, doing some last minute shopping with the cousin and agi. I bought a pair of Croc's shoe that fit and look nice, even with shorts! It's the best find ever, as it was kinda like the dream shoe that I wanted when I was young. Plus, I dont look good with ballet shoes because I am short and my legs are chuncky.

We left the house at about 9:30a.m. and had lunch at xiao mei xiao chi. Oh my gosh, the only reason why I love that place is because the price is so reasonable (cheap) and they have free tea, soymilk and soup. The soymilk is my favorite! I also went to Yogurtland, Mozart Bakery and H-Mart (where I noticed they had soynuts!) as usual. This time, I took some pictures, so I can show everyone how awesome Yogurtland is, but sadly, I am too lazy to upload them here.

For post V-day, my indian friend invited the cousin, pippin, agi, VJ, and me for a homemade indian meal. They made me cry. The curry in the chickpeas were too spicy. It hits you after half a minute, when you are wondering when all the food on your plate turned hot. It was rather delicious though. I also attended MSA night practice, and ate kuay towy at Orient Express. It is so delicious, I swear it is the best.

Post V-day is also the day my handbag button was almost torn away. It happened so suddenly, I was surprised. It was given to me when a senior threw it away in the thrashcan. I felt so sorry for it because it was such a waste. I asked her if I could have it and she gave it to me. The handbag lasted me for three and a half years, ever since the first day I stepped foot on U.S. It has been with me ever since. I never use another bag because I dont like changing accessories, am lazy and trendless. But it looks like the handbag's outlive its time. Even the color on the bag is fading or rubbed away from constant use.

Luckily, I have another black bag, aka the interview professional handbag. Well, looks like your turn is finally here for good.

Happy Snowed-In

It has been a enjoyable long weekend for me. The freezing rain hit OK on monday morning and left the roads in such bad conditions that OUP was closed by noon.

Later, an announcement was made. OK is in a state of emergency. Campus closed Tuesday. Great, I thought. Another day of holiday. Judging from all the accidents and sidewalk falls, it was expected.

Come tuesday and another announcement was made. Campus closed on Wednesday. Well, this is swell indeed, I thought, being stuck at home for three days in a row. I went out Tuesday for dinner and the roads were empty and piled with inches of snow. A few cars got stuck in the snow. Nothing serious in the student town of Norman. Five of us piled up in the car and my friend gave us a free drifting experience. Some resturants were closed. Others closed early.

Being stuck at home all day had made me realized what I was missing out. The shiver and excitment of being out in the refreshing cold. I forgot how nice it is to feel the cold on your cheeks, even though my hands were freezing as I scraped ice off the car. It was wonderful, especially when your belly is bursting, and you tip toe and reach across the back window to dust away the snow. The cool air brushes the belly and gives a nice relieve.

Ah, snow days. It is beautiful indeed. Especially when campus is closed.

Taking up japanese again

Dear Mama and Papa, I have been a very good girl. I am studying japanese on my own. I cannot remember how it all began. There has always been times when I think of studying, but never gotten around to it. One day, I decided to review my japanese. I surfed the net, played some games, found out useful sites, and the whole process gamerolled. I got onto iknow.co.jp and I found it so interesting that I decided to make it my focus of learning japanese for now. When I first read about it through tofugu.com, I decided to make iknow my world. Today is the second day using it. We'll see how well my japanese improves and one day, you wont be able to read this at all because it will all be in japanese.

Hahahaha.

Next:
I thought of something I wanted to create: Tiny Tales for A Curious Mind

Let's see where it all goes. For now, my world is japanese.

The Grandma Lifestyle

I just finished watching The Last Samurai. A little depressing to watch seeing fellow country man fighting against one another. Makes me thinks of the Water, especially when I saw the Emperor's eyes. Somehow, I gathered that what makes them stand out most is their eyes. So different and beautiful.

I need to learn more about the Samurai. Apparently, my friend said it is a good movie, but all the historical facts are wrong. So yup, my goal is ... more reading.

I have been rather happy with myself this few days because I managed to read four books in three days. Yup. Extremely pleased. Havent managed that feat since pri/sec school. The internet is too distracting.

I want to learn how to make granola bars since I am running low on cereal bar. I always bring them to work, but I want to learn how to make it now... and sweet sesame soup too!

I have been having the munchies, but it wasnt that bad as in summer, so I'm glad.

I also did my laundry yesterday! Had to do three loads yesterday and one load today. Damn but I am good! Now my room looks clean and organized. Had to wash all the bedsheets, pillowcases and comforters for two beds since my friend is no longer staying with me. She's gone the entire holiday, and this weekend, I finally decided that I have enough dirty clothes for my laundry. So it is as always, the entire haul of washables goes into the laundry. I am so happy. Managed to put on a new bedsheet for the second bed and got rid of two blankets and pillow so that my room is less messy!

Yar, I am really boring. The only interesting thing in life is laundry, washing dishing, buying food and thinking about cooking food. Very grandma. That's me.

Leaving

I would like to leave. There is no road ahead of me here. If there is, then it is being hidden really well.

Just a push from my parents, and I would pack my bags joyfully. In the mean time, I will continue on till my work is done. I'm in the finishing stages, but already, the time is ticking slowly but surely.

Resolution 2009.

I came up with my resolution for 2009. Or rather, another list of things I would like to do and accomplish.

Japanese, Korean, Constellations, World and U.S. map, history, writing, photoshop, web site, reading, running, ice skating, ballroom dancing, God, yes.

~~~

I dont know where I will go six months from now. But I do know it is easier for me to leave. There are less strings holding me back.

~~~

I realized how limited my mind thinks. I forgot my goals of the sixteen year old. To get a job. Any job regardless of my degree. I realized that this is extremely easy when I return! Until now, I never realized how U.S. has been holding me back, job-wise.

~~~

My friends, I miss them. Most of all, I miss the water from the land of the rising sun. I realized how important foundations are - true foundations that can withstand all kinds of pain and broken trust. How can I return to the starting point when it is build on air? Perhaps I am still in denial. When you accept the fact, life is much more peaceful.

~~~

Road Trip to Miami

Happy New Year 2009! It has been festive, somewhat for my part. My friends and I spent the new year at Bayside Marketplace in Miami, Florida! Yup, it was a sudden decision and quick plan to the land of sunshine.

Unfortunately, two friends got into a "silly" row and thus, someone had to spend his new year only, while the three girls were together. It was a huge drama starting when we were still driving to Florida. First, it was the car seat, second, it was the photograph, third, it was at a pizza place...where they argued again and finally, they compromised after my cousin stepped in. I was just eating pizza. I cant believe all the drama that issued on the way. Seriously, someone even wanted to fly back home on the second day itself. Argh.

But afterwards, it was all nice and calm. Lucky.

We stopped by New Orleans and Houston on our way back. Eat french doughnuts and drank coffee at a famous resturants and eat M'sian food in Houston, with a bit of shopping at a chinese supermarket for snacks. I got baked soybeans, pineapple and green tea cakes, and sesame mochi!

Well, all I want to say is, I love my trip despite all that has happened. It was a fun trip and I have not made any resolution. I dont think I have that habit or even the will to carry out what I say. The best I can do is hopefully, I pray and hope everything turns out well.

PLS: I saw three falling stars on my trip. One on the way there and two on the way home.
PLS: I drove for my first time in a road trip. I nearly killed everyone when a deer popped its baby head on the road. I got caught by a police for speeding and got off with a warning.

Updates before the New Year!

It's been a long while since I've written something here.

1) My computer got infected by a virus and I have been trying to get rid of it. No results.

2) My ebay adapter is dying on me. When I first bought it, it wont charge my battery. Six months later, the power starts to flicker. And you know that is NOT GOOD when the power stops for a second. My computer dies.

3) I watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons. It is 3 hours long. With advertisments. But worst part is, the girl behind keeps kicking my chair!!! I was so pissed off, I didnt enjoy the movie at all. Plus, I thought it was rather boring. There wasnt much conflict. I couldnt wait for the movie to end.

4) I cleaned, cleared and organized my drawer and table. I am all ready for the new year.

5) Ballroom dancing. My friend took me there twice. First lesson, salsa. Second is swing. Then I went for their Winter Ball. And now, I know roughly eight dances all in three practices. Hahaha. Since I didnt pay for the lessons, I sat down and watched the people practice. After the practice, there was a group dance practice where different types of music were played and you dance with other people. Well, my friend enters for free since the studio was in need of guys, and he is considered their special guest. Each time the music changes, he taught me different dances. After being in their studio for three times, I have learned a lot.

6) The roommates opened up our christmas presents today night. I got a big bottle of lotion, a cloth slipper for home + a hand lotion, chocolates from france, another bottle of lotion + perfume, and a home fragrance.

7) Planning a road trip to either Miami or San Antonio. Frankly, I dont like beaches. So Miami... hmm, I guess it would be okay as long as the trip is under 500.

Yogurt-fruit mix

One of my favorite creations to date is the yogurt-fruits mix. I got the idea from Yogurtland, but mine is all about the fruits while the yogurt is the sauce. Cant have too much yogurt, or I might as well be drinking a cup full.

Grapes, blueberries, cranberries, chex (wheat cereal), few spoons of yogurt, top with brown suger and cinnamon.

Yummy.

^^

Best part is that it fills you up pretty fast. Imagine eating a bowl of grapes just by itself. That's pretty filling. My creation came about when I went to dallas, bought 2 small packet of blueberries and realized they cannot last long! After a week, I placed them in the freezer to prevent more mold from growing. Since I had so many blueberries and grapes, I decided to mix them with yogurt and pour some chex mix into it ( I love the crunch! Too bad I didnt have nuts.). Plus, this is a good motivation for me to eat more fruits, so I am happy.

GRE

My brain is going haywire! I have been studying, with lots of breaks in-between, the entire day!

And I cant seem to remember words. I check the dictionary repeatedly for the same words which I know I have checked before. Why cant my memory retain information!? What happened to it!!!! I am, at this point, rather pissed that my range of vocabulary is so low! Grrr.

I need a break but I dont know what to do? I have been staying in my room the entire day and I want to go out! I want to walk, breathe in fresh air, just be outside, but I darent call my friend coz he has a final tomorrow and besides, we dont make good study partners coz we always want to play. Grrr. I have to find motivation by myself. Where's the fun in that?

I dont know what colleges to apply to for my master's degree. I am thinking ... somewhere out of this desolate land. But my choices are rather limited. Grr.....

I have been thinking, I ought to make a list of vocab to refer to...

I want to get this exam and applications over with... I want to start on something else, like learn japanese or korean.

And I need coffee. Tons of it.

Antisocial

I think I am getting comfortable with being antisocial. The thought of talking to people gives me a funny feeling, like hi, leave me alone with the food please. Or maybe it is because I am more interested in the food than in people. Being around people sap the strength out of me. I feel so tired by the time I am home that I dont even want to join next time, unless it is a bunch of friends I am well-acquainted with.

I wonder how you can hundreds of friends while in college and then after that, it just dwindle to less than five after you graduate. Isnt graduation a celebration? Have a job, makes new friends, earn money, dream of being rich, party and drink? Somehow, graduation is fun, but the aftermath of it is losing friends. It is hard to stay in touch if you have a different lifestyle from everyone in college. And now, I dont even bother to stay in touch coz I just want a nice, quiet life away from the parties.


I think I am entering the grandma stage. Stay home, read some book, maybe watch a movie, clean the house, and eat.

And fyi, I clean my room today. Reorganized some boxes, threw away rubbish, recycled paper, sell some textbooks. Now that I have no exams, life is definitely much simpler.

In love

Christmas decorations are up and I am in love.

I am in love because life is wonderful. I have great roommates, no exams, no test, no mounting fear or anxiety in my mind. I love the feeling of freedom and peace and so, I am in love. With life.

I never knew you could love life so deeply and love it truly. That I actually have something to look forward to without the dreaded feeling inside you - like presentations, test, papers, grades, interviews, professors, the forced speak-your-mind during class.

And now, it is time for GRE and Master degree and college again. But life is good.

I am still in love, and I wish it could last forever.

Korea Town

I am in love with Yogurtland! I was down in dallas on Saturday to pick up a friend and we stop by the new Korean town to buy some groceries. K town is like a square plaza with H-Mart and other resturants and shops. I have to say, I am most impressed by Yogurtland. They have tons (ten, maybe) of yogurt-ice cream flavor available and it is all self-checked out. It is only thirty cents an ounce and you choose any many toppings you like! And there were so many toppings! I had blueberries, strawberries, granolas, almond, walnuts and I forgot. Oh, and I had blueberry, pistachos, and three other flavors I cant remember in a huge cup all for $3.19! Most impressed am I!

A similar shop in Norman, OK, is called PassionBerry. At first, I thought it was amazing, but rather expensive. After I tried Yogurtland, damn, but PassionBerry is definitely un-comparable. They only had three flavors and you can only choose a topping. Plus, the cups were S,M, or L. I realized that this is common in most ice-cream shops, that is why Yogurtland is AMAZING!

I love Mozart Bakery in K Town too. They have the most fantastic pastries that are not too sweet and the taste is heavenly. Plus, the price is reasonable. The mochi pastry is amazing. It is bread outside and sticky flour with red bean inside. I bought others but they were so-so compared to the Mochi pastry. Mozart also have great lima beans cookies and other cake/bread stuff that makes my mouth water with delight everytime I enter the store. It is like going into a frenzy.

(A month or so ago) Ah, and if that isnt enough, Omi resturant have a great Korean BBQ for only 19.99. You grill the meat in a small round griller in the middle of the table. There are like five different kinds of meat - unmarinated and unmarinted and coz it is korean, there are all kinds of side dishes for free and rice. Yes. The rice is so soft and slightly sticky. I cant but finish the whole bowl. Once you have finished a set of meat, you can always ask for more, since it is technically a buffet. But no one really does, I suppose. However, since it is a trip for us, we asked for tons more. And surprisingly, we ate it up. Well, I tried. My friend did the rest. In order not to waste food, you have to eat everything or pay a charge, which was why the waitress was shocked at four girls (three skinny) asking for more meat! I believe we were one of the last few to leave during lunch hour. Hahaha.

K Town is amazing. We can spend the whole day there, eating and buying groceries and that is good enough for us. Ah, the simple pleasures of food.