Home. World. Universe.

Im not sure how well I'll do in my first japanese test.

So far, I've been pretty consistent on the quizzes but that is *sub-sub-sui* (easy).

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I dont really know why the hell am I learning japanese for. It is because I really LOVE japanese language, or because of anime influences, friends' influence, just simply easy A, etc.

I think its a combination of all. Friend's influence, anime... these two are big influences on why I am in japanese class. Loving the language...hmm, i wouldnt say it would be much use since its only used in japan, not like spanish or french, but I have to admit that japanese sounds more foreign and exotic than spanish or french, only because im in U.S. duh.

I think I would have love to study french, if only I had some kinda background since most students here have taken it before in high school and its pretty easy for them. I hate to struggle when people are taking it breezy, that's why I went for japanese. Hey, how hard can it be when I have chinese background? *pfft* say what!?

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I dont really know if I should balik kampung in december. My cousin is going back, but then she hasnt been back for two years. Me, hmm. If I dont go back this year, it could be more than two years before I can go back again. Decisions, decisions. What can I do if I go back? Nothing. I will be trapped at home, in a shared room, with no air-con, no peace, no privacy, and constant noise from loud shouting.

The last time I went back, I forgot everything about U.S. Everything. When I got back, I could barely remember what my room looks like or where my stuff were. It was that bad. Like some kind of fuzzy dream. I dont know how to explain it, but my brain seems to think that msia/spore is HOME, WORLD, UNIVERSE and everything else outside it is ... FOREIGN AND ALIEN. So once I return to msia, U.S. became dream-like - the way it used to be when I was a child. Like a moon orbiting around earth. Even now, in U.S. I feel like a foreigner, because I keep refering to those americans as ang mo and using my daily dose of lah, leh, mah, meh, etc. Or maybe it is because I cannot accept them deep down in my heart - low tolerance or something.

But of course, I am in U.S. now, and it definitely does not feel dreamlike to me, not when I have a test in less than 12 hours and tons of reading to catch up on.

Hmm, maybe I left my heart in msia, where my family is...or wait...

heart = stomach = food

food = I miss = heart

heart = home

Therefore, heart = food = home = universe

Hehehe. Whatever. I am just procastinating my studies for japanese. Shucks.

Please excuse my ramblings.