Monday, April 14, 2008

Blah

You know what persistent, perserverance, stamina means?

I do.

I perserved for 4 years ... even when I was living in fear, I did not give up. I subjected myself to torture, abuse, hatred. Probably too weak to give up and say no. A coward.

I perserve now too. In the wrong way. Chasing after a dream that cannot exist.

I have the qualities. I am just using it the wrong way.

If I put the same amount of energy in work and writing, I would be successful. Or at least moderately successful.

I am pretty dumb, I know. At least I am aware of it.

Blah.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i miss u too... it's a comfort to know that there is someone who understands what you're going through.. really wish u r here.. to hold my hand, and walk me through this..

Hugs..

aLv