Just a bit of fun

He didnt know what he couldnt say. He didnt know a lot of things to say. What he did know was hard to say. So he didnt say anything he wanted to say.

Always a sliver linning

This week, and the next, will be a tough emotional week for me, or will it? I would love to say that in actual fact, it was just a very good learning curve and I should be extremely grateful for everything that people do for me, and to support me.

I love it. I love all the constructive things that people say. I love all the help and support that my supervisor has given me. I love everything that that world has done for me. I love you all, my friends, colleagues, family, God, and the one-time strangers that pass through my life.

I am extremely grateful for how God has changed my world. He is still changing it for the better. And thus, this I know is true, and I will brave through the storm for a better tomorrow. He has given hope and comfort above all else. He knows my pain and sorrows, and he knows my heart and the truth it holds dear.

My father, thank you for being in my life. Thank you for supporting me, and guiding me. Thank you for bringing the best in my life. I will wear out any storms just knowing that you are right here with me.

Finding myself

I dislike being away from my boyfriend. You might say that I have attachment issues.

Without him, I feel abandoned and even more insecure.

As it is, I have no self confidence.

But I got to change that. I got to start believing in myself. Start trusting myself. Start loving myself.

The first step is always the hardest. But I will try my best to be all that I can be. To live life to the fullest, to dream exponentially, to find the WILL again to stay strong and buckle up because it can be done.

For so long, I have been single, I have always found ways to keep myself busy. But dating someone has soften me. It has reduced me to a pitied fool, only because now I can't bear to tear myself from him. And now, I grow more dependent on him to validate me as I become used to his praises, love and encouragement.

While he has continued to stand strong, I have dissolved my soul to blend into him. Like a dust floating in the air, I go where he blows.

So this post is able finding myself again, and standing tall.

Recently, he has picked up several sports, which leaves me in a dilemma. I have time on my hands, but nothing to wile away my loneliness.

In my attempts to find meaning in life again, here are the list of activities I round up:

Reading, writing, drawing, running, shopping, Japanese, dancing, ice skating

The only problem is, these are all single activities, and I hate being alone, not when he is with friends.

I have no real girlfriends to go out with. No friends to hang out with. No one but him. Perhaps that is why life without him depresses me. Only because I have no social network to cling on.

But still, I have promised myself to stand up tall! Just do it. WRITE. LIVE. LOVE. LIFE.

2012 and HFMD

It is the year 2012, so long since my last post.

A lot has changed in my life. One of them an exclusive committment to dating a guy. Relationships come and go, but this guy has persisted and stayed the longest, to say the least. I have much to say about him, all things good, but that would take a lifetime, I hope.

To make it simpler, here's a list of why the guy rocks.
-loving
-sensitive
-humourous
-kind-hearted
-sweet
-gentle
-caring
-understanding, well, sometimes
-adventerous
-exciting
-opinionated
-thinker
-doer
-creator
-interesting

And above all, he loves me, very much.

Of course, there are some cons about him. But they pale in comparison to his good qualities. He is much the keeper, and is worth so much that I could have known, or originally thought.

In truth, he is the reason why I haven't been able to go online and blog or do anything else. Simply because I have been spending most of my time with him.

In life, if you asked when is my happiest moment, well, I can say that one of them is really the day we found each other. Too sappy, huh. Well, all I can say is I hope this last a lifetime.

~~~

I have been down with HFMD. It is terrible indeed. It attacked my scalp, which spourted mushrooms of lesions as if in a flowering bed. It also suddenly gave me small tiny spots of lesions on my face, which spread around the lower face, lips, nose, and forehead. Plus, my hands started having round blister-like spots, but painless. Luckily, the lesions all died after the 3rd/4th day. Good riddence, I say!

Not to be outdone, basketball size ulcers grew at the back of my month, and goodness knows where the rest of the less painful ulcers went. But the mouth ulcers were the worst. It hurts like crazy because it was so hard to drink, swallow, eat, talk. Swallowing was an extremely hard chore. The pain was intensified each time I swallowed anything, even water. After a few days, you can feel the pressure of your ears build up, like being in an airplane. Talking was well, what? Talking? Sorry, I am officially mute the next couple of days.

I was in msia for a couple of days, and when I went back to spore for a checkup, the doctor prescribed strong painkillers, mouthwash and lozenges. Frankly, I have been withstanding the pain during the peak of the pain, so I guess, I am lucky that well, I managed to live with it fine.

I drank lots of barley while in spore, and it really helped!

One good thing did come out of the HFMD. I was 'sick' for a week and a half, and woot! Free from work! But of course, I had to work from home then, else my world will collaspe when I'm back.

It is also very very very boring, at home.