I feel touched, especially since we didnt get along too well. Yet, he got over his disappointments and bitterness I suppose. I mean, to learn that my image wasnt marred to him was a hugh wonder. He is a great person, just totally different from me. Thank you for the compliment, S.R.
~~~
Sometimes, I wonder if I am too naive and stupid. Too accepting. I don't really see anyone's fault...not until someone points it out to me and say, "Hey, I dont like that attitude!" And then, suddenly, I comprehen and it sinks into my mind that that is wrong.
I am like a little girl who accepts everything that comes in her way and if they say it is my fault, I will agree with them and say, "Im sorry."The worse part is, part of me really thinks I am at fault. I dont fight back. I am a big pushover. I please people and stay away from anger and disagreements. Now that I think of it, my only savior is I am lazy, so if anyone tries to use me, I will feel annoyed and irritated. Hahahaha. Plus, I hate socializing with strangers who I know I will only disappear after one minute. It is a different case if my friends asked for help.
I think I know what is wrong with me. I find it hard to comprehen anything. My mind seems to always float in the clouds. People tell me stuff and I need to them to repeat before it sinks in and ground me into reality. Im serious. I dont get stuff the first time, especially when it is new information or knowledge. I hate watching movies coz I dont think I know what is happening. I forget very easily what happened one second ago... and then, I get confused. Books, at least I can read the line again and if it boring and tough, I will be staring at the same page for minutes coz my mind is elsewhere and it wouldnt comprehen anything. No wonder I hate analzying.
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I have to add that I went to passion berry today and the yogert was sooo good. Not the yogert drinks. Too sweet.
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My legs are tired. I have been standing for so long, and going to the gym too. Twice in a row. And I play DDR today. I know I have gained all my weight that I lost over two semesters (eight months) in three months. That is why I feel so bad, I decided to hit the gym and quickly build up my stamina to where it was before so that I can lose weight. And hopefully, I will lose pounds in two weeks! Oh, I have to cut down on my snacks too, I guess.
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Oh, I was talking to my brother today. I havent talked to him in a long time. Think months. Maybe nine? I dont know. Well, he told me he's in love so he's getting fat. Whatever! I know it is true. You know, you get lazy and everything, but what! He is fat! Grrr. Can boys please shape up even if someone wants them! Grrrr. My brother used to be soo skinny until he started taking those muscle gaining suppliments and then, my theory is he drank too much, too little exercise, and became fat. Muahahahaha. Stupid brother. Or he wont be as fat now. Muahahahahaha.
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Now that my emotional life is calm and back-to-normal, I realized I dont need to be involved in any relationship. I am fine. More decisions and choices and no pain involved. It is easy to be involve, hard to leave and then, the cycle of the dating life would start. You know how some people need someone by their side, or some who always seem to be dating? Well, I dont want to be in their shoes. I dont want ... to want someone's attention just because I feel lonely or rejected. It would be considered playing (unless they are my good friends), and I dont want to toy with people because in the end, our friendship is affected. Besides, I feel extremely guilty coz I use them w/o them knowing. I stay away now, unless I meet some cute guys, then what can I say? Hahahaha. JK.
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I should be sleeping, but Im not. There are so many random strings of thought running through my mind, like how much I love drinking tea and jobs, school, friends, work, melilea, etc. Argh. Come let me fall asleep and this post wont be so long.
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